November 20th, 2005

Update: IRC still sucking strong in 2005.

It was time for my once-per-decade check to see how sad IRC continues to be. Seems like nothing's changed since about 1995.

Me:/join #somefuckingchannel
--- You are now talking in #somefuckingchannel.
--- A dozen or so people are here and they're all ops.
Me:So what's up in here?
Them #1: not much
Them #1:room is comatized
Them #1:carefull, its contagious, ohhh u already noticed
Me:I forgot my surgical mask.
Them #1:damn
Them #1:solly bout that sir? ma'am?
Me:Sir. That is, I'm knighted.
Them #1:k, u must be proud
Me:It's mostly ceremonial these days. No horse, no shining armor, and I don't have to move two steps forward and one to the side all the time.
Them #1:so no hittin with swords on the shoulders? damn, those were tha days
Them #1:Yeah, just a glowstick in my ass. You know... to be honest, it might not have been a knighting ceremony at all.
Them #1:Be Right Back
Them #2 slaps Them #1 around a bit with a large trout
Them #2:shh
Them #2:good boy
Me:God bless IRC. It's good to know that this obsolete protocol has been maintained all these years so people can get some peace and quiet on the internet.
Me:Quaint, quiet, tranquil link to the past untouched by modern technology. It's like a zen garden, really.
Them #1 dashes across teh room and grabs Them #2's trout before he can do any damage with it. What did this poor defenseless trout do to you Them #2 ???
Me:/quit
--- Disconnected ().


Okay. So I'll check back in around 2015 and see if they're still struggling to come up with any conversation aside from "r u a girl." I must say, however, that "sir? ma'am?" is probably the most eloquence I've ever seen squeezed out of an IRC client.