Kris (hutta) wrote,

  • Music:

Spring Ahead

For the past 25 years -- my entire life -- I've lived in a state that was sane enough to know that 2am shouldn't disappear for one day in the Spring, and happen twice on some day in the Fall, or however it is that Daylight Saving Time works. So for the very first time in my life, I'm resetting my clock, not because the power went out, not because I tripped over the cord and pulled it out of the wall, and not because I decided to move it across the room so I'd have to haul myself out of bed to make the horrible buzzing stop, instead of just slapping the snooze button over and over without really waking up, until finally -- at 3pm or so -- the calls from work start to come: The lectures, the threats of termination, the pleading, the calls to finally take charge of my life and have some goddamned responsibility. No, I'm resetting my clock because... well, you know what? I don't fucking care, and you've probably got some bullshit legend wedged in your mind to justify this nonsense. I'll participate in this arbitrary reassignment of time, but I must make it known that I will be doing it under protest.

Well, I guess I've done it already. You see, the DST switch happens on the first Sunday in April. At some point, I guess I misheard and decided it was done on April First, so last night I diligently pushed the clock forward an hour. I was late going to bed, and fucking around with time itself cost me another hour of sleep. That hour hated me, and it made me pay. I woke up startled and confused, in complete circadian chaos.

Now, my cellphone's time is set by God, or Sprint, or some other vengeful entity I dare not question -- an entity that always knows precisely what time it is where I'm standing, except when I happen to be standing in the subway, and it can't even remember what day it is. So, after my alarm went off and I spent a good half hour trying to negotiate with myself to get into the shower, I decided to reach over and ask the cellphone for a reprieve, which was mercifully granted.

So there it is, my April Fool's Day prank on myself.

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